12/I AM JOE’S DICK…OPENING MOVES
According to my therapist, one of my big problems is that I have been lying for and about my brother Jack for most of my life. Dr. Cunt believed that was due to Jack’s manipulation of me but she couldn’t be sure because I was so evasive and noncompliant. She found me especially lacking in credibility on the subjects of Jack’s sexual orientation, preference and experiences, and she believed I was somehow “covering up” for him. But Dr. Cunt never said what she thought I was “covering up.” Mostly, I just didn’t believe Jack’s sex life was any of her business, so I told her whatever popped into my head at the time, often being deliberately and wildly contradictory of prior comments. When she would confront me with my inconsistencies, I usually told her that Jack’s sex life was none of her business, and she would assure me that what she was interested in was the “intersection” of our sex lives. Though I certainly scattered plenty of hints and innuendo to the contrary, my basic story remained: “There is no ‘intersection.’ Jack is hung, and I am hung up on him, but I have never been able to get him to intersect me.” Despite that mantra, I think she gradually came to believe that Jack was some kind of homosexual predator who was somehow manipulating me into keeping his dark secrets secret.
Dr. C was wrong about that, but she was right about most of the rest though: I lied my ass off to her about Jack, just as I had been lying for and about him basically since I had started talking. As for the manipulation, well, that was a two-way street, and it was hard to say which of us was more manipulative of the other. Neither of us was ever concerned about being manipulated by the other, though - we almost always recognized very quickly that some new game was on and when it was either of our turns to be the mark we’d both play along to see what developed. To our way of thinking, it was just a whole lot more interesting to maneuver the other into doing what we wanted than to straight-up ask for it. And it didn’t matter to either of us when the other was pulling our strings because there was almost nothing we would not do for each other anyway. When she finally pieced enough of this together (never all of it), Dr. C was aghast at what she described as “your brother’s borderline sociopathic behavior.” Like I said, that street ran both ways. When I told Jack that my therapist had diagnosed HIM, whom she had never met, as a “borderline sociopath,” he thought it was a tremendous hoot. I arched one eyebrow and asked drily, “Borderline?” All in all, Jack thought the whole course of my therapy, which I described to him almost in realtime as it unfolded, to be one of my finest scams.
There were so many distractions (mostly one 8-inch distraction) in my and John’s apartment that the morning after John had faux-fucked the crease of my ass, and I sent my SOS text to Jack asking him to blaze the trail I had promised to John, I basically moved into the stacks in the library to cram for my exams. My goal was to salvage enough of the semester to keep from torpedoing my plan of going to law school and, almost as important, to avoid having to have “the talk” about my grades with my father.
I was memorizing key Supreme Court holdings for my Con Law exam late that morning when my phone vibrated. It was a text from Jack.
Jack: Ur SOS blows. Can’t figure out what ur really after. Whats the gm??
Me: No game. We have appt - ur cock up my ass. Thx bro.
I got exactly where he was coming from, something I had failed to consider when I sent my late-night text. We rarely asked each other straight-up for what we really wanted. Our usual M.O. was misdirection and scheming. While I hadn’t yet considered whether there was any plausible way I might have “manipulated” my twin into fucking me in the ass over Christmas break, Jack had a point (though I would have such a plan by the time I needed it). I knew then that Jack had almost instantly agreed to sodomize me per my text request because he had been so sure that I was up to something else. ‘Fuck,’ I groaned as I tried to concentrate on Marbury v. Madison, whoever the fuck they were.
My phone buzzed again.
Jack: BS, out with it. I give up. what do u really want.
Me: For u to keep your promise to fuck me w/ ur little dick b4 John tears my ass apart w/ his monster cock.
Jack: tell Tex no f*ng way
Me: too late. i promised him & I keep my promises. Like u used to.
Jack: no fair, chick I pickd up was sucking the chrome off my knob while we were txtng. wasn’t thinking str8.
I knew that shit happened all the time with Jack but it still burned to hear about his dick in someone else’s mouth, especially since it looked like I was going to have to beg him to do me a solid and fuck me. My chief Jack fantasy was me swallowing his cock. Getting drilled by Jack had never been one of my dreams because I had never dreamed about anyone fucking me in the ass. At my essential core I’m a cocksucker, not a butt pirate, but since I was about to become a fuck socket I wanted Jack to go first. And since I knew for a fact that my ‘straight’ (joke!) brother had buttfucked at least two guys on our football team, and he claimed to have fucked a bunch of other guys, I rationalized that I wasn’t asking that much from him. I was suspicious that Jack had boned our cousin Scott a couple years ago, but he had never admitted it. But Jack’s failure to unequivocally deny having fucked Scott pretty much confirmed for me that he had in fact porked him. That kind of galled me, too, not that I had wanted Jack to pork me (then), but I had once asked Scott, with whom I had some history, to let me fuck him and he turned me down cold. I ignored Jack’s last text.
Jack: c’mon dude, don’t get all butthurt on me…
Jack: poor choice of words, u no what I mean
Jack: talk to me bro
Jack: dont b cross. u were serious last nite?
Me: fuckin A & thought u were too
Jack: bad idea, Joe. if u like that dude ur playing house with, let him b the one. if he’s a good guy
Me: he’s a good guy & he’s gonna b the one, but ur gonna b the 1st one
Me: GD u even fucked Scott & u hate him
Jack: thats why I fucked him
Jack: & he did not enjoy it
Me: LMAO…in library
Jack: btw - if ur serious & im not yet convinced - wtf is the 180 about? i told u u had the sole of a btm but no u wdnt hear it after the knob deal u never ever heard u say shit but nobody was ever f*ng u?? which made no fucking sense btw givn ur obvs …u kno
Me: had a revelation
Jack: wanna make sure I didnt miss the news - uve still never topped a dude, right?
Jack: but until, what, 2 days ago u insisted u were never taking it up the ass, right?
Me: 3 days but I wont quibble
Jack: then I’ve just had a revelation - 2 tops playing house and top 1 w/the biggest dick sez he’s kicking top 2 to the curb if he duznt roll over & play bitch
Jack: fuck Joe I’m sorry, stupid joke
Jack: I’m fucking sorry.
Jack: Will u answer me if I say maybe…
Me: fuck u, it wasn’t like that all, but too fucking complicated for text
Jack: I know u better than that…like I always said u’d want a cock up the chute one day. I mean that in best possible way
Me: I thought you were just trying to fuck me
Jack: LOL maybe I would ve but wasnt trying to
Me: u said u’d say maybe if I answered
Me: maybe what?
Jack: maybe I think you’re hot as hell & we’re lucky as fuck that we don’t fit together like that
Jack: no buts i love you but we never fit & u know it - u were all about sucking but u knew that wasnt happening & until last nite as far as i knew u had zero interest in anal, top or bottom, so
Jack: plus I actually like pussy & dont just endure it like you & I’m oh so close to being done w/ boys, u know that too… joe we’d b crazy to go there whn we’re all bt out of clock
Me: i know u say that we dont fit - maybe true but now I’m telling u theres one way we can fit & I’m asking u to fit ur cock in my ass once…or twice…b4 we r outa time
Jack: Jesus, now u want me to bang u twice??
Me: figured 3x was out of the question
Jack: u got that right
Me: look I gotta go
figure out who was fucking who Marbury or Madison & why
Jack: all greek to me
Me: Con Law. At least think about using ur big beautiful cock to gently initiate my sweet peach of an ass?
Me: well? if clock says we’re all done lets go out w/ a bang
Jack: well since you put it like that…maybe
Me: maybe what?
Jack: the answers probably going to be fuck no ur batshit crazy…but I’ll think about it
Me: you know I love you…
Jack: …like a brother. I’m out.
Jack: delete this whole conversation
Buzzzz. I looked at my phone. It was a text from John. I’d been studying about 20 minutes since Jack & I signed off.
John: How ya hangin, stud?
Me: con law makes me horny
John: meet for lunch?
Me: Nah brought a sandwich & I’ve got a ton to do
Me: on 2d thought its like a fucking tomb where I am. U ever been molested in the stacks?
John: Not yet I haven’t but that’s about to change
Me: 6th West, rear left, quad side
John: On my way.